... in my brain actually. My very own brain tumour

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Very short update

This is a very short update for the reason that my typing is still difficult and time consuming. My brain has still not mapped the computer keyboard properly and there seems to be lack of coordination causing the problem. It is very frustrating. Every now and then I try to play something on the piano, but realise that that is something that will only return as a result of a miracle.

I finished my formal radiotherapy and chemotherapy on Friday 11th April. Only now do I realise the level of assault that this involved to my brain. I can already start to feel things slowly getting better - with the emphasis on SLOWLY. I rest a lot, and that helps. My brain is still swollen and irritable from the treatment and will continue being treated with drugs (that dreadful cortisone and anticonvulsion stuff) until the swelling eventually goes down. The irritability of the brain tissue shows itself in behaviour that Joan and I have sometimes called "meltdown". These are horrible incidents when the slightest little thing sends me into an inappropriately emotional state.

Again, I say thank you to my friends and family for supporting me. To those who have asked if they could visit and were told that I have been sleeping or resting, please accept my aplogies. If you were told this it means you were among my very best friends indeed. Sometimes the level of exhaustion was such that it was impossible to see everyone. I know you will understand. Since my last entry another of our hiking friends actually died of cancer without even making it through her treatment. The reason is that her support system was very limited (in my opinion). So I am deeply indebted to all of you for holding me up so effectively.

On Friday this week I see the neurosurgeon again. Nobody has yet suggested having another look inside my head to see whether the tumour has gone down or not. Basically we all agree that that won't serve any purpose. I want to see how my actual function as a human being goes now. I need to stop eating so much and slowly get myself fit again. Life still needs to be lived.

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